Archives for May 2015

On the Runway for President

By Sarah Bellal

Courier Fashion Columnist

(Note: This is a work of Satire)

With the 2016 United States presidential election right around the corner, the candidates are hot topics among both the young and old. Presidential fashion is an especially popular conversation starter.  Here’s how to dress like your favorite potential, past, and confirmed presidential candidates while remaining on-trend.

 

  1. Hillary Rodham Clinton

clinton - Edited (1)

Hillary_Rodham_ClintonHillary is so famous for the pantsuit it’s not even funny. Seriously. I’m writing this with a straight face. Switch out the career pants for a fitted trouser and the shoulder pads for a boyfriend blazer for a modern take on Hillary’s signature style.

slacks http://www.hm.com/us/product/02192?article=02192-R

blazer http://www.hm.com/us/product/93244?article=93244-A

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Senior Ditch Day… or Senior Epidemic?

By Supreme_Overlord

Courier Staff Reporter

James Logan High School is no stranger to mystery, scandal, and epidemic. On Tuesday, May 26th, a large portion of the senior class was absent from school. The cause of this sudden and unexpected event has yet to be confirmed, although many have speculated as to different reasons for the mass absence. Many absentees called in sick, leading some to believe that there was a widespread illness among the seniors. Several suspicious teachers believed those absent were participating in some ritualistic, social rite of passage that has been coined “Senior Ditch Day”. Innocent, unaffiliated bystander and Logan dropout Kumpleet Bee-Ess, for some unknown reason, commented, “Of course they weren’t ditching! Senior Ditch Day is a myth that the illuminati spread to give teachers a cover up for when they unleashed their artificially created virus onto the senior class.” As a Courier correspondent, I am choosing to wholeheartedly believe Bee-Ess and his speculations.

Here’s what some seniors did on Tuesday to get their minds off of the illness:

An anonymous student said, “I dmed my bestie to tell her I was sick, and SHE WAS SICK TOO, so we decided to go to Great America to cheer ourselves up. ASB was offering discounted tickets for some reason so that was just an added bonus on our road to recovery.”

“I went to Berkeley to do some hipster stuff and wound up in a smoke shop where the owner told me he had a cure for the senior epidemic, so I’ve been smoking it regularly since then.” – an student who simply identified as “Jer.”

“I quarantined myself and will not be leaving the confines of my house until the first semester of college starts and I’ve gotten the CDC to sanitize my surroundings.”- submission sent through email.

(Note: this is satire.)

 

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Principal McNamara Issues Statement on Departure

Amy

Principal Amy McNamara

Courier Staff Report

After announcing her departure from Logan to take an Associate Superintendent position in a Contra Costa County school district, Principal Amy McNamara sent the following statement to the Logan staff:
“The last 6 years have absolutely, without a doubt, been the highlight of my 18 year career in education. There has never been a day since I came to Logan when I have not gotten out of bed excited to come to work. There have been days I was looking forward to a fresh start from the day before (right?), but always I have loved my job, the teachers, the support staff, and, of course the amazing, brilliant students we have.

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McNamara Resigning; Heading to Acalanes Union as Associate Superintendent

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Principal McNamara, center, walks to the Staff Lounge to announce she’s taken a job in another school district. Courier Staff Photo

by Courier Staff Reporter

James Logan High School will need a new principal next year, as current principal Amy McNamara this morning announced she’s leaving Logan to take an associate superintendent position with the Acalanes Union High School District.

McNamara made her emotional announcement at 8 a.m. today in the Staff Lounge.  About thirty teachers were there to hear her after they received email invitations to the announcement earlier in the morning.  She was flanked by Vice Principal Abhi Brar and House Principal Francis Rojas when she made the announcement.

McNamara said her hiring by Acalanes Union was approved by their board last night. Her current job will be “posted,” alerting would-be replacements to the availability of her job, as early as today, she said.

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Weekly Reader: Midwinterblood

by Amber McGee 

Weekly Reader Columnist 

Some time ago, around the tenth century, a king was sacrificed to prevent a famine. Until then the king had lived for many years, his life sustained by a special flower that grew only on his small island in the north. Before he was slain the king saw his queen wracked with despair and promised her that he would always be by her side. Even when her life came to an end and she was reborn thousands of miles away, he would find her some how.

So begins the story of Midwinterblood. Inspired by the painting of the same name by Carl Larsson, this novel, inspite of its bleak setting, will leave readers feeling hopeful. Maybe, just maybe, what others say is true. Maybe love can survive the centuries.

In just over two hundred and fifty pages Marcus Sedgwick is able to create a mesmerizing story that enchants the readers just as much as it enchants the main characters. Midwinterblood is a cup of fresh tea when compared to other reincarnation stories for it explores not only romantic love, but familial and platonic love as well.

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